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Battle of the Will
It was 8 am and my son had just slept 12 hours and woke up H-U-N-G-R-Y. I wanted the first thing to go into his stomach to be protein so I grabbed some all-natural turkey slices. These used to be his favorite but recently he would eat everything else on his plate and just a little of the turkey.
So at 8:05 am I put a few pieces of turkey down and blessed the food and he sat there for awhile just staring out the window and I proceeded to make our family morning Balance Complete Powermeal Shakes and some Ezekiel toast with all natural peanut butter. He still had not eaten his turkey so I decided I would not feed him the rest of the food until he finished his turkey.
8:15 am and still no turkey eating. So I say, “eat your turkey” he shakes his head no, I say “eat your turkey”, he shakes his head no and says NO, I pick up a piece of turkey and try to feed it to him, he adamantly shakes his head no and says no no no no no no no no. I let him sit for a bit.
8:20 still no turkey eating and whining and crying over the other food sitting there. I spend the next five minutes pointing to, picking up the turkey and saying “EAT THE TURKEY”. He cries and yells and does some kind of Cookie Monster eating where the turkey doesn’t really go in his mouth but all over his lap and floor. The cats are happily eating what hits the floor.
8:25 am I offer the toast and say, “If you eat your turkey just a few bites, I will let you have your toast and shake.”
8:30 still no turkey eating and it hits me WOW this is not about eating his turkey. He really may not like the taste anymore it is a battle of his will against my fortitude. And that same moment I realized why I see so many parents give into their kids. I am relaxed in the morning but what if I had 15 minutes to feed the kids and get them ready for school or off to daycare. It can’t be easy. I am not condemning parents for giving in, but I think we need to look at the bigger picture.
In the book MADE to CRAVE, it talks a lot about overcoming our desires for unhealthy foods. I am taking a group class based on the same theme. We are talking about how our childhood experiences influence our relationship with food. From everything to turning to food for comfort, to hide the pain, to my Italian upbringing that food was everything.
Learning to deny ourselves and developing self-discipline
The other day I heard a woman say she never drinks water. She said if I have a glass of tea a day that’s a good day. She has gained 40 pounds and has Irritable Bowel Syndrome. She said, “I started gaining weight when I started on these medications.” I said to her, “I bet if you had been drinking water, many of the ailments you take medications for would have been diminished or not even there.” She knows she needs to drink water but developing the self-discipline to do it is another thing.
As our children grow into young adults what we have taught them and expected of them will really matter. Will they have self-discipline when it comes to food, alcohol, sex, money management and the list goes on. If we have taught them about the power of self-discipline (which is a fruit of the spirit and we can all have access to that) we will find (my opinion) pretty happy, healthy and most likely successful kids.
It’s not going to be easy
I myself have struggled with self-discipline in my adult years. The result led to enormous amounts of debt, 40 pounds of extra weight, and difficulty in general. Maybe your story is the same. You may feel that you can’t expect your kids to eat healthy when you don’t. And yes it’s important to be the example and leader in your family when it comes to things like food, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start today.
I have to eat gluten free right now otherwise I suffer some bad health consequences. That isn’t easy even when you make healthy foods. I love Ezekiel toast in the morning but I now have to make it for my family and not eat any myself. I deny myself and in the end I am a lot happier than if I eat it.
From the book Made to Crave, “Living in victory tastes sweeter than any treat”.
Start in your home
My husband just reminded me that he attempted to out will his son to eat some of his eggs at a restaurant recently. After about 15 minutes of him acting out he decided to leave.
I am no expert but I do know in all the parents I have interviewed who have awesome kids they all say don’t give up, be consistent, and don’t give in. So I am going to do my best to follow these parenting principals knowing that I am not perfect and even my parenting could use a good dose of self-discipline. So I will do my best starting in my house in the hopes that when we are out that the standard I set there will come natural to my child.
8:45am My back was turned and when I turn around there is my son quietly eating his turkey 🙂
Joshie happily eating the rest of his breakfast after his Turkey Eating Refusal Battle. He lost but still shows remnants of this battle of the wills by the turkey slices on his head.
Please go over to my Facebook Page and tell me some of you stories about the Battle of the Will.
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
No More Detergents
“What are those bubbles in the water?”, I asked my friend. We were enjoying a study weekend at her family’s home on Keuka Lake back in 1998. She said, “That’s from people’s laundry detergents and washing machine water going into the lake. The chemicals are causing problems with the lake’s ecosystem.” That was my first AHA moment when I realized that laundry detergent wasn’t as safe as I thought.
I remember in college the stink of the laundry rooms and of course the years of going to the laundry mat. The smells could be choking and all the time laundry detergent keeps getting cheaper and cheaper. Every Sunday paper has coupons for laundry detergent and in the store, the smell of the detergent and cleaner isle is too much and I have to plug my nose.
I started using all natural or I should say more natural detergents in 2002 and they just felt better on my body and for my eco-friendly mind. But they were costly and somehow I always spilled them everywhere and had to clean up the washing machines. But no more… no more detergents for me.
Watch this video and see my new ECO friendly laundry washing. YEHHH!
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
Are You In Prison?
I woke up from a really disturbing dream and was about to go journal it when I heard my inner voice say you need to share it. I had a dream that woke me up sobbing. At first I thought, “Well it's just a dream” but when you look a little deeper maybe it's wasn’t…
I had a dream that this really mean person who didn't like me and tried to do mean stuff got me arrested and put in jail. This jail was secret and no one knew I was in it, not my husband, not my family, no one really but me. There were other people in the jail even little kids. Some tried to escape but most of the time would end up back in the jail.
Then in the dream I realized that I could escape but was too scared to do it. I had gotten comfortable in prison. Sounds weird I know… Then I also realized that the person who put me in jail had changed over time from that mean person to my mom. But how would I escape? Then I heard a voice say forgiveness; you need to forgive the people who put you in this prison. So I started saying and praying “I forgive them” and saw the reflections of the people I needed to forgive. As I did this I just started weeping and weeping.
Lastly I saw all the ways I had kept myself in bondage and was mad at all the bunny trails I went down just so I wouldn’t have to break out and be free. I heard a voice again say, “Forgiveness, you need to forgive yourself.”
WOW what a dream huh? I woke up sobbing I was so affected by it. But it doesn’t surprise me since this past week I was working with my Mindset coach, PJ McClure, on patterns of self sabotage and where they come from. I had just had 3 conversations over the weekend with friends and we were talking about how people instill a spirit of fear in kids and if that bondage is not broken, they grow up to be adults with anxiety, worry, and usually stay stuck in situations or jobs that are much less than their true calling.
What does this mean for you? Well ask yourself what kind of prisons you are in. Are you afraid to do something more with your life? Are you afraid to go back to school, chase that dream of fill in the blank, do what you have always wanted to, or go live in a foreign country? Whatever it is I am here to tell you and pray with you that you don’t have to live in bondage anymore. Get at the roots of your bondage.
Now this may seem a little deep and weird but hear me out.
Here is a Bondage Breaking Formula:
1) Identify the prison you are in. (WARNING you may have many)
2) Recognize what put you in there. Beth Moore in her book “Get Out of the Pit” shares that we can be pushed in a pit (our prison) by other people, we can fall in a pit maybe by circumstances or a few poor choices compiled on top of each other, or we can just jump right in by our own choice.
3) Understand you were not made to live there. It can be easier and too comfortable to stay prison versus living free. (Sadly I see really talented young people who seem to feel more at home in the system then outside it.) Most people were never raised with life.
What do I mean by that? I mean that words of encouragement, positive role models, or praise are good but my belief is if we read our Bibles we would read God’s true calling on our lives. We would read words of life. If we really read, understood and believed the words GOD gave us, we would know how to avoid the prison and how to get out when we are there.
4) Ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness of your captors (no need to do this in person if you can do it in your heart), forgiveness of yourself, and forgiveness from God. If you have trouble with the first two, ask God to help you forgive.
I would like to tell you that this is a one time thing but it is not. It will usually take many times because of all the layers of junk. Occasionally, God will give you instant deliverance but in both methods it feels like losing a whole lot of weight. You just start feeling lighter. You feel like this burden is just off of you. Some lose weight or forgive slowly, some can do it quickly but we all can do it.
5) Release the spirit of bondage and fear. Again this might sound weird but my belief or thinking is there are yucky little demonic forces that can get attached to us and speak junk about ourselves right into our minds. It’s kind of like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on another. These attachments can be heavy, “you’re stupid, you’re as dumb as a box of rocks, you can’t do that you are a girl”. They definitely want to keep you for being all you were made to be.
So how do you release these bondages? Well again my belief is we pray to bind them and cast them back to the pit of Hell where they belong…. But always use the name of Jesus Christ. Even if you are not a Christian, you will see the power of using the name of Jesus Christ far surpasses anything you can do.
6) Now this exercise is not complete because we finally have to fill that space or void (cover the pit) or we will find ourselves possibly in a worse pit than before. I recommend filling that void and covering that old wound with the power of the Holy Spirit and the Blood of Jesus.
As Christians, Jesus left us the power of the Holy Spirit that is WAY underused. The Holy Spirit can give us patience, self control and peace, when our lives seem like a mess and out of control. The Blood of Jesus, your belief that Christ died for our sins and for the people who put us in prison, can cover your wounds and hurt no matter how old. This is a really important step and if you don’t have Christ and the Holy Spirit in your life you really may want to ask him into your life. Just give Him your heart, your mind, body and soul and you will see HUGE changes in your life.
Lastly I want to share with you one more secret weapon in breaking free of bondage and breaking out of prison. The Bible gives over 188 references to anointing, essential oils, and plant medicinal used to empower, heal, and increase your spiritual connection. God made these plants and essential oils but why are we not using them today? When you do the entire Prison Breaking free exercise I am going to recommend you anoint the whole process with pure essential oils.
Specifically, I recommend to start with the oil of Valor, a beautiful blend of Frankincense, Spruce, Blue Tansy and more oils which when inhaled, helps tell your brain to calm, your body to be at peace, and it tells your spirit to be courageous and strong.
Take 2-4 drops of Valor in your hand and rub your hands together, inhale the oil, apply to your shoulders, heart and feet holding your hands for 10 or more seconds in each area as you relax and feel the oils going in.
Valor is important to use every morning before you start your day as well as before you start a Bondage Breaking exercise.
Next is another Bondage Breaking oil called Transformation. This oil has a whole bunch of single essential oils blended together like Sandalwood and Frankincense. These oils were used during biblical times and can be just as beneficial today especially when you are using pure oils like in Transformation.
Take 2 to 4 drops of Transformation in your hand and rub your hands together, inhale the oil, apply to your shoulders, belly, feet and anywhere else you feel you need it. Keep inhaling the oil as you go through the exercise in Steps 1 to 6.
Finally I would say don’t be afraid. Give yourself grace because God has given it to you.
I love and appreciate your courage and determination to be the best you can be. If you feel like sharing your breakthroughs, I would love to hear them. To share publically, comment below but if you would like to privately message me email at info@starrhealth.com. Put in the subject line BREAK FREE.
Remember all of this is for your Total Wellness! God Bless your success,
Dr. Mary Starr Carter
Starr Health Ministries
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
Halfway through the year…
How was your 4th of July? I know that everyone reading is not from the US so I hope you had a good Canada Day or first week of July. As we role into the 7th month of the year I realized that half of this year is gone. And instead of writing an article today I thought maybe you could share with me your stressors, health challenges, or things that might be stopping you from achieving Total Wellness.
Go over to our Facebook Page and let me know what’s bugging you. We will make sure we address some of these things in upcoming teleclasses, blogs, and newsletters.
As many of you know I ended last year having my second miscarriage in 2011. After some analysis, prayer, and talking to God I realized that some things had to change in my life for me to achieve Total Wellness. For me these first 6 months have been a journey in finding my health again. True health and happiness that I didn’t realize I even lost.
Where are you at? Take a good look. Give yourself a grade on a scale from 0 in the pits – 5 outstanding in the different areas of Total Wellness. Spiritual Wellness, Emotional Health, Family Health, Marriage Health, Financial Health, Your Career, Extended Relationships, Community Health, think of different areas of your health and give it a grade.
Now look at the areas that you want to improve upon. Make a plan of some small steps you can take to make improvements. If you struggle with this exercise let me make a suggestion.
PJ McClure the Mindset Maven has a free book called Flip the Switch. In that book there is an exercise that has dramatically helped me to FLIP the Switch and understand what I am working towards. It’s a vision exercise that you work up to. And it is very powerful. Over the past 6 months of using his techniques in Flip the Switch and his program, Your Business your Life, I have seen more improvement in all areas of my wellness.
WHY? Because I have a clear vision of where I am going and I have the belief that I can get there.
Where are you going? Go check out his stuff, you won’t regret it.
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
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