Last night I realized it was the year anniversary of the birth of my baby Gabe. Gabe was technically labeled a miscarriage instead of stillborn since I was just shy of the 20 weeks when a baby is labeled a stillborn. I know it’s not comfortable to read about nor is it super comfortable to write about, but I felt like I needed to acknowledge his birth day. Because for me each of my 4 babies who are in heaven have a birthday. Gabe I carried the longest of my miscarriages and it was emotionally and physically the roughest for both myself and my husband.
But the night he was born was really beautiful filled with the PEACE that passes all understanding. I had amazing hospital staff at Sacred Heart Emerald Coast, my Midwife from Gentle Birth Options in Niceville, Florida came to the hospital to be with me and Dr. Jennifer Esses the OBGYN really honored my wishes with the delivery. I also had the support of my husband and the relaxing comfort of my beautiful Young Living essential oils. But as amazing as they all were it was the Peace that Passes all understanding that got me through that night. It was Jesus Christ’s love and compassion for me that surrounded me with His Holy Spirit comforting me beyond explanation. I was blessed that night and even through the grief and pain and sickness, later on I was blessed by hundreds of prayers and Facebook notes.
So last night when I put up that memorial post for my son Gabe I was once again overwhelmed with virtual hugs, prayers, and blessings and reminded that even in our worse days God can cover us and heal our hearts.
If you are hurting, feeling lost, feeling hopeless, I hope you will call Jesus into your heart and ask for the Peace that Passes all understanding. I promise you that when you take the heart of Christ into your own and Renew your mind with His word your life and life circumstances will never be hopeless again.
God Bless you and thank you for caring about our family.
Mary Starr Carter
The Total Wellness Doc and Mom