Stressful times require extra help. Whether it is a health crisis or extra work at your job both can cause stress on the family. Instead of turning to junk food and a messy house think outside the box.
Whether you have small kids or are single everyone should have ….
Tool #2 A Home and Family Support System
This Tool works best if it is set up before you need it. I know it will be more of a challenge to do this when you live away from friends and family but I encourage you to begin looking now. I promise you being prepared will help the stress an illness can put on a family.
This system is based about Cleaning, Cooking, Childcare, Sick person Care, and Transportation. Again your Resource List will be helpful in setting this system up.
Tip #1) Recruit elderly relatives, friends or neighbors. There are many older retired individuals who are feeling alone and useless, yet they still can be helpful to so many if given the chance. Find a family member who loves to cook, or run errands, or watch your children. This not only will help you but can help them too.
Tip #2) Recruit out of town friends and family to be a part of your Phone Call Check in Support System. Sadly in my town just 2 months ago a young single mom and her baby were found dead in their apartment because of lack of check in support. The mom died of a hereditary illness and since no one was checking up on them the 4 month old baby died too of neglect. How awful huh?! One simple phone call could have avoided that.
Tip #3) Teenager or College Student Support System. Set up a local teenage neighbor looking to earn a few extra bucks and would be happy to come over do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, or help prepare meals. For those of you who are really busy and need help this is great because it gives you extra time with your kids and you won't be too exhausted if you have to do work after the kids go to sleep.
I have used this support system for years and it is helpful. Be sure to set clear expectations, wages and performance standards. Using their cellphone and texting every other minute is not appropriate while working for you. Maintaining a positive and pleasant attitude. And the list goes on. Be sure that they also understand that if they do not meet these standards you will terminate their arrangement. (Don't forget to discuss this with the parents too. )
As you can tell I have learned through the years. Treat them well, honor them as adults, pay them well for work done well.
Tip #4) Look for local stay at home mommies who may want some extra cash. Having a mommy you trust pick up your kids, or cook double dinners, one for their home and one for yours, do some lite cleaning and the list goes on. It depends on your needs and theirs.
If you are thinking you can't afford that right now I want you to re-think that statement because you are forgetting that your energy is VALUABLE. Remember your time and energy are worth something. Spending $10 extra a week to have a meal made for you, a night of no dishes, extra family time, and less stress can be more valuable to you then you think.
Tip #5) Transportation: When a Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue client is so weak they can't drive themselves to Doctor appointments or even to the store then the burden usually falls on the spouse. This can cause many sick days to be eaten up or even time without pay if the spouse is working. So go through your Resource list and see who could help with transportation. Again be sure to honor them with gratitude and gas money. Many giving people refuse an exchange and it is okay to receive but if you have to use them multiple times find a way to honor them. Sometimes a simple thank you card is sufficient.
Tip #6) Childcare Sick person Care Be sure of you and your spouse are clear on who can watch your children and who can't. Even if that means you may have to send your kids for a week or so away to be properly cared for with someone you fully trust. Leaving your children is really hard. So don't put yourself in a position where you have to worry, prepare ahead of time.
Also look and see who may have experience in helping someone sick, injured, recovering from surgery or could help take care of you if you needed them.
Be sure your have your HOME AND FAMILY LIST in a few different places so your spouse and or family member could help you put your Support System into place if and when you need it.
Remember your Home and Family are very important but so are you. You are hurting, injured, recovering, or suffering with a Chronic Illness like Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue. You must make sure you have resources set up for you. If you are hurting and haven't found answers we would like the opportunity to help you find some answers. Our Wellness Coaching programs help those who are lost in a Health Care puzzle get on a path to Total Wellness. Learn more at thetotalwellnessdoc.com/coaching
Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health. She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease. She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.
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