The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression
The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter
While the holiday season is a joyous time of the year for many it can also be the worst time of the year for some. Instead of “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus”, it may turn out to be like one of the book’s title written by Ann Hodgman called I saw mommy kicking Santa Claus!
There are many reasons why depression and loneliness are part of the holidays. The loss of job, missing a loved one, divorce or coping with an illness. All of these losses can bring grief instead of joy.
The loss of a spouse, parent, grandparent, child or good friend:
Losing a loved one means an empty seat at the special dinner and probably a missing link to the whole celebration. Many times the holiday season will have to take on a new direction and tradition. It is difficult to celebrate the season as before. Some people feel better by visiting the cemetery, lighting a special candle or journaling about it.
No matter how it is done, the truth is, emptiness and loneliness will still exist. The only way to cope is to have someone to talk to and embrace the sadness instead of dwelling deeper into depression or loneliness.
Maybe take a break from the old tradition. Keeping yourself busy throughout the holiday season by donating your time at a food bank, getting a seasonal job in retail, taking a cruise with a friend, or visit a relative out of state during the holiday instead of being at home. Break away from routine and familiarity and surround yourself with friends and family.
Your sadness may still be there but you may get great joy out of helping others and making them happy.
The loss of a job:
Losing a job means there is uncertainty and maybe a lack of funds for holiday giving and days ahead. It may be time to cut down on expenses and evaluate on the style of gift giving.
Friends of mind lost their sole income in October several years ago and were destitute by Christmas. Although their basics needs were paid for there was no money for gifts. They gave the kids beautifully wrapped boxes with a whole in the top. All year long they would write down any time God blessed them or something good happened in their life and the following year they would open them. Although the kids were not thrilled at first the boxes became a huge reminder of gratitude and blessing. The family was blessed over and over that year and the following Christmas they loved opening their boxes and reading all the good things that happened to them the following year.
Divorce or children moving out:
Through the years we have created memories with our spouse and children. A divorce or children moving away with their own families can leave you with loneliness and misery. Just like losing a loved one be sure to fill your time with things you love, caring for others or caring for yourself.
Military family with loved ones serving overseas:
During the holiday season a military spouse may struggle with challenges of loneliness, fear and worry. They have to do everything to create a happy holiday celebration for the children without their spouse. That burden is a very difficult one and should not be carried alone. If possible ask for help from your family and friends with anything you need. Join support groups and seek out help if you need it.
Feelings of loss and loneliness can be very dark place to stay. Using essential oils can help uplift your moods during those lonely times and throughout the year.
One of my favorite essential oils is Joy. Joy inhaled more than 10 times a day or diffused several times a day in your environment can truly improve your outlook. See when you inhale a pure therapeutic essential oil like Young Living’s Joy oil it goes directly to the part of the brain called your limbic center or “emotion center”. Inhalation therapy is one of the quickest ways to change your “stinking thinking”.
Here is Peggy Nederlof story about Joy oil.
Last year I experienced depression and felt comatose. It was so unlike me. I heard about the blend Joy and started to palm inhalate it. Within 10 minutes I started to feel better. I continued to use Joy multiple times during the day, and within 2-3 days, I felt as though I could take action and move away from my depression. It was very powerful.
I then started to use Valor every morning on my feet and added that to my routine of breathing in Joy. After a week, I felt so much more balanced that I no longer felt depressed or needed to use Joy as much. Valor is now my go-to oil to start my day.
Finally, dealing with grief, loss, and loneliness, does take some courage to face the day. I agree with Peggy starting your day with Valor is a great way to start and end your day as well as use throughout the day if you need it.
Take 3-6 drops of Valor (depending on the size of your feet) and rub the oil on your feet and hold there for a minute. Do the same thing for your shoulders and chest . Follow with Joy….. aghhh I just took a break while writing this and not only do I feel clearer in my thinking but definitely uplifted too!
Try it and see what you think. Remember if you feel you have a serious depression or feelings of suicide please seek competent medical advise, if you don’t feel like you are getting answers keep searching.
We look forward to hearing your stories. Please leave your comments below.
Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
Protected: Bible and Ancient Secrets for Depression
Angels Among Us
Angels – The Body Guards that walk with me
By Angela Brooks
I was raised in a small Methodist church out in the country where my family have always attended. I grew up hearing about angels and how they watch over us but had never had an angel experience, until I began working in a state funded mental hospital.
As I drive to work, usually in the peace and quiet of the car – I use my time for prayer with God. I want Him to walk alongside me as I go into an environment that is so unpredictable.
On many occasions I will ask in prayer to be covered with a protective shield before I reach the unit. There are times I have been confirmed that it was answered by a client on the unit or an event that shows up.
After a long week of very difficult clients I dreaded coming into work this particular day. I felt drained going in. As I stepped on the unit a long term client who I have worked with over the years came in this admission in worse shape than normal for him. He had sat on the hall talking to his internal stimuli most of the time with little interaction to the staff.
This day as I stepping on the unit he came walking straight to me and I stopped because we had direct eye contact. He said, "Mrs Angie can I tell you something?" I said, "Sure how can I help you?" He says, "Mrs Angie when I see you walk on the unit. I know I am going to be ok. I said, "Thank you I appreciate that." He goes on to say, "You remind me of a light house." I turned my head – smiled and stated, "Really why is that" He speaks very clear and very sincere as he continues to explain. "A light house is a safe place for those that are out to sea. When the boat is rocking back and forth in rough water the sailors begin looking for the light. I see that in you. A bright light that shines all over this town reaching others. But your light is going to reach more than this town – it will reach way out into the world and others will see you. Thank you for taking care of me when I am sick." He turned and walked back down the hall way to his room. We did not talk any more that shift.
I was speechless. Actually I had to step across the hall in private to wipe my tears because he had just answered the prayer I had spoken in the van on the way to work less than 10 minutes before. I had dreaded coming to work that day and my prayer was – God just let me be a light to one person. Let that person see you in me.
When we have a disturbed client we have a buzzer than will sound called a 'Code D' all available staff will go to that area to assist on that unit. Most the time when a client sees a large group of people entering the unit they will stop on their own.
This young man around the age of 23 years old began throwing chairs. Raging until the staff felt he was out of control and called a code D. The buzzer sounded and the unit number was given over the loud speaker. You could hear people running across the floors above and doors opening and slamming closed as staff ran to that area.
When you go to a high risk situation you have no idea what will be waiting on the other side of the cold steel door. You put your key in the lock, turn the key and step in to the unknown. As I run to these situations I am asking for 10,000 angels to show up and go with me for protection for the client and the staff so that no one gets hurt. That is our main goal, safety.
I opened the door and locked eyes with the young man we were going to assist. He stopped, leaned back against the wall, slid down to a sitting position on the floor. We began talking to him to see what was going on. He became very cooperation with the staff and walked to his room to receive medication the doctor had ordered.
Later that evening I went back to check on him and see how the medication was helping. He was standing at the desk talking to the staff. He turned to me and said, "Did I hurt you earlier?" I answered, "No one was hurt how are you feeling?" He stated, "I am feeling better why did you have to bring those great big men with you? I looked at him puzzled and questioned him, "I do not remember any one walking in with me. I came alone. What men are you talking about? He said, "They were big guys that came in with you and pushed me to the ground.
It did not dawn on me until later who those men were. They were my body guards that I did not hire, but they walk with me. Angels really do walk among us.
Another gentleman that comes to mind has a long history of hurting the nurses that work with him. He stands 5'10 around 250 lbs. In 21 years not to many of the men give me the good ole creeps. He did. I did not walk close to him when out on the hall. This evening we were watching a movie with the clients.I stood against the wall because I felt more comfortable with him still awake on the unit. There was another male sitting in a chair between us and he leans over to speak to me.
His eyes carried a darkness and his smile looked so evil he said, "I ain't gonna mess with you." I looked at him and questioned him "What did you say?" He said again. "I am not going to hurt you. You always walk around with your big ole guards." The other client sitting between us smiled and snickered as he glanced at me listening to this man speak. There was no one standing beside me. No other staff. No other clients. Just me. I smiled and stated "Thank you, I am glad you feel that way." From that day forward – he walked on the other side of the hall from me.
Another Angel spoke, After a long hard stressful night another staff member and I were walking through the connecting unit to go to our cars. A lady sitting in a chair at the end of the hall close to the door sat rocking back and forth. I have never spoken to this lady before. I did not know her name. All I had ever seen her do was rock. Both of us were walking mentally exhausted from all the drama that had happened during the night and I was wondering to myself how could anything that had happened really helped anyone in those 13 hours. When the rocking lady looked up – not really gaining eye contact but looking upward and said, "God said, you did good ladies." She looked back down and went back to rocking. I smiled, looked up and said "Thank you".
Do you have angels that walk with you? Tell me about it by leaving a comment below. I want to hear your story.
Angela Brooks is a leading distributor of Young Living Essential Oils. Dedicated to natural health solutions, Brooks provides people with healing alternatives without harsh side effects. Additionally, Brooks is a mental health nurse committed to bringing mental happiness to the nursing profession by motivating and supporting nurses around the country.
We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.
Depression: Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression
Depression: Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression
By Angela Brooks
Most women are doing too much, expecting too much, influenced by crap and were never taught to take care of themselves. As a mom of two handsome young men, I am guilty for putting myself last in taking care of myself and making plans for my own personal growth.
Guilt sets in when plans are made without the boys or my husband involved, feeling as if I am selfishly taken time away from my family. When in fact – when I do invest in myself, I give them a happier, better mom and wife.
Over the years women have been taught and some expected to take care of the children, the household chores,, the meals, errands for the household, take children to their activities. Plus in today's average families, also work a full 40 hour a week job. No wonder so many women are worn out, out of shape and depressed.
Unresolved anger, and fear cause women to drop out of the game and let their own needs go without realizing how it is making them feel. After taking care of a full plate of everyone else's needs they give the excuse of being too tired or it is to late. It becomes a form of self abuse, almost as if they are the sacrifice for everyone else to succeed.
Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression
Expecting yourself to fill the shoes of wonder mom leaves you feeling empty and frustrated. Magazines and Television show moms with a baby on their hip, dressed for business, talking on the phone and smiling. The real truth in – one person cannot do it all without burn out.
Very few women are taught how to take care of themselves; most are influenced with so much crap the focus is taken away from their own health and needs. Leaving mom agitated and tired.
When I began my home business, I was working full time at night, multi-tasking on very little sleep. Attending the boys activities and not taken any time away from the rush of the daily events for me. I began falling apart at the seams and stayed frustrated. I pulled back and had to make a decision quick before mom popped like a balloon. Investing into my own personal growth, exercising – education for my business and branching out to a whole new outlook. I began to change how I was thinking.
After returning from a mastermind event with a group of talented women it shifted my thinking about me and my business – My husband gave me the best compliment I could ever have received. "You have a new business and I have a new wife." The smile had returned to my face. I felt happier than I have been in a long time.
Why? Because I took time for me and my dream.
Women need to step out of the dirty laundry room and re-discover who they are. Over the years, as I observe and listen to not only the patients at the hospital, but the nurses on the unit as well. Frustration is a common conversation around the water cooler. A lot of women feel that when they have children and get married all their dreams have to be placed on the back burner or forgotten. Within a few short years or working in robot mode – people begin to see a changed person.
Who Am I?
I always think about the older lady who came to the hospital, whom for 30 plus years had served her husband and her children. She ran the household like a business. When her husband came home from work one day and told her it was over. She was devastated. She had no idea who she was without the role she had lived for all of those years. She had lost herself taking care of her family. To her surprise she had a serious wakeup call on her life. Who am I?
Don't wait until you're so worn out, out of shape, depressed before you start living. When you live a full life those around you will benefit from your new joy. Stop worrying about not being enough, or what people will think, (I mean who really cares anyway), forget the rejection, no one will notice if your clothes are ironed or your hair is perfect. When you give others your control, you're allowing them to determine yourself worth. Start a journal today and you will amaze yourself what you will learn about YOU.
About the writer:
Angela Brooks is a leading distributor of Young Living Essential Oils. Dedicated to natural health solutions, Brooks provides people with healing alternatives without harsh side effects. Additionally, Brooks is a mental health nurse committed to bringing mental happiness to the nursing profession by motivating and supporting nurses around the country.
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We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.