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Sometimes You Don’t Realize What You Lost

Have you been at a season in your life where you knew if you didn’t make changes the future might not have been too pleasant? You know a time when you knew if something didn’t change that you might have a heart attack, nervous breakdown, or worse. A time when you felt so stressed you could barely keep up with everyday activities. That was our family a year ago.

Wake Up Call

A year ago we were heading on an amazing adventure to France. We won this trip and were so excited but little did we know our bodies and lives were at a critical point. We enjoyed the adventure, met new friends, got to sit and have conversation with some incredible mentors and millionaires. But during the whole trip we were exhausted physically, overwhelmed emotionally, and simply not enjoying it as much as we could because of our physical health. We had a wake up call about our health and about our future.

Workaholics

See for more than 15 years we both had burned the candle at both ends. In fact 10 of those years you could all us workaholics. Although one lucrative business was developed, we lost a lot through that 10 year season. Then we got some training, had kids and found a bit more balance in our marriage and relationships but our health was still not a huge priority.

Releasing the Stressor

After that trip to France my husband made the decision to release his corporate 60 plus hour always on call job. Shortly after that we would both become pretty sick and I would have a miscarriage at 20 weeks. Our bodies didn’t immediately recover once the stress and grief lifted. We both carried 40 plus pounds of extra weight, struggled with anxiety, stress, and blood sugar regulation- he was worse than me. We finally had to wake up to the fact that years of high stress, irregular sleep patterns, and poor food habits led to where we were. The irony is we are in the health industry. Our job helps people get healthy. Go figure!

Both of us have released weight in the past, gotten on track with our exercise, eating and supplements. Last time for me was in 2012 prior to the pregnancy of my 2 year old and my husband in early 2013. We both lost more than 25 pounds, and we felt amazing, but weight is only a piece of good health. We have to look at the STRESS in our lives. STRESS can KILL US.

I want you to look at this picture of my husband. This is a picture of my husband in early 2014 when he was under a great deal of stress.

I am remembering that in 2014, I thought that if something didn’t change in his health he was going to die. I remember praying to God to help my husband get the motivation to be healthy again.

Here is Jay in August 2014 during our trip to France.

Jay Ice cream

In September Jay would let go of his job. It would take six months after releasing his stressful job, and 3 months after we had our loss that he would start to get his motivation back. He started researching what was going on with his health, we got some testing done, and he started to understand the toll that all these years of what poor lifestyle habits had done to his body. Because just getting rid of the stressor is not enough to heal the body, you now have to heal the damage.

Spring started a journey back to health for my entire family. Jay recognizes that he has at least 2 years of full healing ahead of him to regenerate hormonally, and physically into the man he desires to be.

At the end of June he got some serious motivation by the Iron Cowboy, one of the world’s best endurance athletes. Jay started competing in 5K runs.

This is him on July 4th 2015 after running a 5K race.

JayMckenzie

Stress is part of life, but how much you allow in your life and how you deal with it can affect you for years and years to come. You might be in a place where you have no motivation to start. I promise you if you take one small step each day even if it is researching the effects of stress and adrenal fatigue, in the beginning things will begin to change for you. Focus on the positive, speak life into your future, release the negative, and MOVE FORWARD each day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

God Bless your Health Journey,

Mary Starr Carter
your friend who is walking the journey back to wellness with you

Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.

Protected: Stress Relief for the Whole Family

by Claudi 1 Comment

The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression

by Claudi 9 Comments

The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter
While the holiday season is a joyous time of the year for many it can also be the worst time of the year for some. Instead of “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus”, it may turn out to be like one of the book’s title written by Ann Hodgman called I saw mommy kicking Santa Claus!

There are many reasons why depression and loneliness are part of the holidays. The loss of job, missing a loved one, divorce or coping with an illness. All of these losses can bring grief instead of joy.

The loss of a spouse, parent, grandparent, child or good friend:
Losing a loved one means an empty seat at the special dinner and probably a missing link to the whole celebration. Many times the holiday season will have to take on a new direction and tradition. It is difficult to celebrate the season as before. Some people feel better by visiting the cemetery, lighting a special candle or journaling about it.

No matter how it is done, the truth is, emptiness and loneliness will still exist. The only way to cope is to have someone to talk to and embrace the sadness instead of dwelling deeper into depression or loneliness.

Maybe take a break from the old tradition. Keeping yourself busy throughout the holiday season by donating your time at a food bank, getting a seasonal job in retail, taking a cruise with a friend, or visit a relative out of state during the holiday instead of being at home. Break away from routine and familiarity and surround yourself with friends and family.
Your sadness may still be there but you may get great joy out of helping others and making them happy.

The loss of a job:
Losing a job means there is uncertainty and maybe a lack of funds for holiday giving and days ahead. It may be time to cut down on expenses and evaluate on the style of gift giving.

Friends of mind lost their sole income in October several years ago and were destitute by Christmas. Although their basics needs were paid for there was no money for gifts. They gave the kids beautifully wrapped boxes with a whole in the top. All year long they would write down any time God blessed them or something good happened in their life and the following year they would open them. Although the kids were not thrilled at first the boxes became a huge reminder of gratitude and blessing. The family was blessed over and over that year and the following Christmas they loved opening their boxes and reading all the good things that happened to them the following year.

Divorce or children moving out:
Through the years we have created memories with our spouse and children. A divorce or children moving away with their own families can leave you with loneliness and misery. Just like losing a loved one be sure to fill your time with things you love, caring for others or caring for yourself.

Military family with loved ones serving overseas:
During the holiday season a military spouse may struggle with challenges of loneliness, fear and worry. They have to do everything to create a happy holiday celebration for the children without their spouse. That burden is a very difficult one and should not be carried alone. If possible ask for help from your family and friends with anything you need. Join support groups and seek out help if you need it.

Feelings of loss and loneliness can be very dark place to stay. Using essential oils can help uplift your moods during those lonely times and throughout the year.

One of my favorite essential oils is Joy. Joy inhaled more than 10 times a day or diffused several times a day in your environment can truly improve your outlook. See when you inhale a pure therapeutic essential oil like Young Living’s Joy oil it goes directly to the part of the brain called your limbic center or “emotion center”. Inhalation therapy is one of the quickest ways to change your “stinking thinking”.

Here is Peggy Nederlof story about Joy oil.
Last year I experienced depression and felt comatose. It was so unlike me. I heard about the blend Joy and started to palm inhalate it. Within 10 minutes I started to feel better. I continued to use Joy multiple times during the day, and within 2-3 days, I felt as though I could take action and move away from my depression. It was very powerful.   I then started to use Valor every morning on my feet and added that to my routine of breathing in Joy. After a week, I felt so much more balanced that I no longer felt depressed or needed to use Joy as much. Valor is now my go-to oil to start my day.

Finally, dealing with grief, loss, and loneliness, does take some courage to face the day. I agree with Peggy starting your day with Valor is a great way to start and end your day as well as use throughout the day if you need it.

Take 3-6 drops of Valor (depending on the size of your feet) and rub the oil on your feet and hold there for a minute. Do the same thing for your shoulders and chest . Follow with Joy….. aghhh I just took a break while writing this and not only do I feel clearer in my thinking but definitely uplifted too!

Try it and see what you think. Remember if you feel you have a serious depression or feelings of suicide please seek competent medical advise, if you don’t feel like you are getting answers keep searching.

We look forward to hearing your stories. Please leave your comments below.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

The Secret Weapon to Destroy Worry

by Claudi 9 Comments

The Secret Weapon to Destroy WORRY
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

I was raised by worry wart parents so of course I became a worry wart person. Worry would keep me up at night. It would have me running all out most days. It would keep me from ever having peace. Worry led me to a few mini meltdowns and even what I would call a nervous breakdown. But most of all worry stole many years of my life.

What did I worry about? Like most people money, debt, time, the safety of my loved ones, the outcome of a test, my own abilities and the list goes on.

The word worry means strangle. S-T-R-A-N-G-L-E Strangle or STRONGHOLD well worry definitely was strangling me. It was robbing me of my joy and peace and although I didn't know it at the time it was robbing the people in my life and the people I wouldn't meet because of this STRONGHOLD.

When did my WORRY let go of it's stronghold. It started in Fall of 2007 when I opened up my heart to God and started to let Him in. At first I noticed I was sleeping sounder at night. Nothing had changed in my exterior life I still had zero dollars in my bank account and a quarter of a million dollars in debt but yet I was sleeping sound. I wasn't running running running like a chicken with my head cut off. If I didn't finish oh well the world would not end.

I started really understanding and living Biblical principals particular Mathew 11:28-30 and Mathew 6:34. Before I was always depending on myself to accomplish everything, when I let go of worry and that STRONGHOLD FEAR I allowed God to come in direct and lead me in the right directions. My life became much more simple. I didn't feel like I was going around and around but never getting any results.

Now don't get me wrong I still let worry and fear creep in every now and then but then I remember there is no point in worrying in fact worry can be quite deadly.

Worry, Anxiety, and Stress are contributors to most of the 75-90% of all hospital visits. Worry is killing people. And don't think that your problems have to be bad for worry to get it's STRONGHOLD on you. You and I, both have met plenty of people who are financially secure by most standards yet worry the most. I remember visiting these clients who had gotten married two years previously and their home was extremely cluttered and unsafe.

Instead of getting a bigger home or storage for their now blended family they “stored” everything in their home. The husband was so worried about money he would not allow the wife to buy anything even with her own money. She desperately needed some nutrition supplements and essential oils but he couldn't see spending that money. Yet this young couple already had saved over $200,000 in the bank and had no debt. That STRONGHOLD eventually led to the demise of their marriage.

Worry can lead to addictions, hoarding, and worse, the end of your relationships and your health.

I want you to think about what you worry about. Do you worry what people will think of your messy house or the things you have to don't have in your home? Do you worry if your family will like your new wife? Do you worry if your children will stay healthy, get good grades, or become a good person?

Write down what you worry about.

Now I want you to look at that list and STOP WORRYING….. That might be impossible for many of you because worry is your habit it is in your programming.

But there are some SECRET WEAPONs to kill WORRY.

THANKSGIVING: See worry is a verb and action something that you consciously or unconsciously do. In order to re-write your programming you will need to also have another action — GRATITUDE – the action of Thanksgiving.

In her book 1000 Gifts a Dare to live fully right where you are by Ann Voskamp the reader is taught to be grateful for things that we mostly miss when we are in worry. If you struggle with worry or live in fear most days then I highly recommend this book and follow the instructions.

Accepting God's grace as your Provider. For anyone out there who has been on top of the world physically, emotionally and financially and then the next day lost it all you will attest to how fleeting things can be. When I learned not to worry about money (and am still learning) that is when God's grace opened up.

If you need more help on that open up the Bible and read the stories of the amazing grace poured out on a who lot of people who didn't deserve it.

Let go of Control: If you are a controlling person like I used to be it is very difficult to let GOD take over let alone another person. No one can do it as good as you. Well that may be true but we all have to let go to move forward in life. If you truly want to grow your business, raise amazing independent healthy minded children, develop into the best person you can be we have to let go and let GOD.

Don't do drugs do OILS…. I have met numerous people who end up medicated do to the worry and anxiety in their life. If you are on those meds please be aware you can not just come off them without some serious and sometimes fatal side effects. Please work with a qualified doctor who has a lot of experience in taking patients off those meds successfully.

But whether you are on medication or not and you have worry or stress you can use therapeutic Young Living essential oils like Stress Away, Valor, Peace and Calming, or Tranquil oils to help decompress and relax your brain and body. When you inhale an oil like Young Living essential oils that are pure and free from synthetics your brain immediately responds. These specific oils have been scientifically been proven to bring you into a state of relaxation.

Many Young Living users will inhale oils 10-20 times a day as well as wear them as perfume or cologne to protect their health and calm their mind.

Simplify: In my office one of the doors has a sign that says simplify. Having less, doing less, running less, can add a great deal of peace to your life.

This summer I started a Program that helped people get off the streets and into a learning and growing environment that mentored them to a better life. I probably used this program as a crutch after my miscarriage to fill a void. You caretakers know that too well…. take care of everyone else but ourselves.
Well I found over the months that this was bringing more and more stress to me and my family. I came to the conclusion that I needed to let go of this program in order to put myself and my family first. I did and it was like a huge weight off me. I also reclaimed some things I lost due to that program and feel a much greater peace and simplicity in my life.

Lastly I just want to share with you that I am still no expert on Not Worrying, but since I have incorporated the above recommendations into my life I am a whole lot happier and have a great deal of peace in my life. I wish this same Peace for you.

God Bless you, your family and your life to Total Wellness.

Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

Are You a Door Mat?

by Claudi 8 Comments

Are you a Door Mat?
Saying NO, Setting Boundaries, and Expressing your True Feelings

Dr. Mary Starr Carter

I pointed to the door mat and said to my client Karen " you are not a door mat". See for the past several years many people had been taking advantage of her. She was a retired with a huge heart for people and animals and it seemed like her family, friends and service organizations she belonged to were constantly calling to get her to do things.

For years she obliged and spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars caring for the needs of others. She was at her breaking point. Her blood pressure was 220/100 and the doctor wanted to hospitalize her.

She was very scared and VERY STRESSED. Kari had put everyone's needs before her own until she literally was ready to explode. The physical is directly related to your emotional health. If you have poor emotional health and balance you will see physical deterioration. For some it can lead to early death.

Peggy was on that same track. Almost ready to retire she was still always saying yes to whatever or whomever asked for her help. She worked for almost 15 years like a dog from April – October managing and caring for a Seasonal store. She literally worked her fingers to the bone. She would work 10-12 hr days, many 6-7 days a week .

Her hands were now all arthritic. And during her "off" time of the year she was babysitting her granddaughter, filling in at her cousins store, and really never taking any time for herself.

To make it worse she had step children that wanted everything but were never grateful. They were mean, hurtful and offensive at every family gathering. Yet Peggy never said anything. Peggy was almost 60 when she began to really physically and mentally lose it.

All those years of saying YES of biting her tongue when people hurt her were building up. One day her step child said an ungrateful statement and something inside of Peggy exploded. All that anger just came to the surface and she ran over slapped the girl across the face and ripped out part of her hair. THIS WAS NOT PEGGY. Peggy was a quiet peaceful person, but all those years of not expressing her feelings of hurt and anger came out at once.

Peggy was mortified that she was even capable of that kind of behavior. She sought counseling and learned why that happened and developed techniques of Saying NO , Expressing herself and setting Boundaries that not only will avoid it ever happening again but brought a great deal of joy to her heart. Surprisingly she is a much happier, healthier, has released 30lbs without even changing her eating or exercise.

In both Kari and Peggy's case they were physically and emotionally deteriorating because they did not CARE for themselves enough to SAY NO, express their feelings, and stop the bad behavior towards them.

Saying NO – Setting Boundaries:

For some us we are innately wired to want people to like us. Somewhere in that programming we think that doing things for others will cause them to like us. Even as adults when this knowledge no longer makes sense we are wired subconsciously to do this. We give things away, we may even overlook our own self care to care for others.

Saying No to others is about Saying YES to yourself. It's about loving yourself and your physical and emotional health enough to make a change for the better. Saying NO is hard at first but it is crucial to your health.

Whether it is to your mom, sister, brother, principal, or church saying no is important. Sometimes you may have to say no to everything for a period of time to re-group, retreat, and regain your own health and the health of your family.

Many individuals don't realize that saying YES to everyone may mean you are saying NO to your family or spouse or worse yourself.

Make sure you have prioritized what and whom is most important in your life and then base your decisions of how often and whom you say yes to on that.

Expressing your Feelings :

It is not my forte to teach you how to express your feelings because I still am not good at it. Of course you will find me crying at every sad story because I do have deep compassion but to share my own feelings that is difficult.

But I have learned a lot from Dr. Lavonne Atnip an incredible psychologist and marriage counselor. We can end up with all sorts of dysfunction for our childhood and adolescents even if you had great parents. Some people at an early age were chastised for showing emotion so now to them expressing how they feel will only lead to pain in their minds.

Others when they were young would express themselves and were told that they were stupid. All these things can lead to adults not expressing their true feelings or expressing them inappropriately, including Low Self Esteem.

I am not qualified to tell you how to break these habits but I do have some great resources:

Dr. Lavonne Atnip offers phone consultation to people all over the US.

The book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Robert Townsend.

Healing for Damaged Emotions David Seamans and Beth Funk

We have to understand that more STRESS can be caused by not saying NO, not setting boundaries with people or environments in our life, or not expressing our true feelings. Stress can lead to your physical demise….. REALLY.

Right now you may feel it could be more stressful to SAY NO, SET BOUNDARIES, or EXPRESS YOURSELF. That may be true for a short period of time, but if you want to work through that you can have a much more REWARDING and FUFILLING LIFE and most of all experience TOTAL WELLNESS.

Join us this Coming Total Wellness Tuesday when we teach you
11/22/11 How to eat what you want during the holidays and not get sick or gain weight?
Listen Live or via the web:
Phone Number: (203) 347-3041 Pin Code: 700454#
HYPERLINK "http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=24332394"http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=24332394

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The Road to Wellness: Dealing with Stress

by Claudi 9 Comments

The Road to Wellness: Dealing with STRESS
Lessons learned from the STRESSED OUT and the STRESSLESS
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

Terry came up to me with a sad smile. “How have you been?” “Good I said, How about you” “I am dying he says…. Why are you stressed out? I've got all these projects and deadlines and I am not going to make my Saturday deadline.

It keeps me up at night. I tell you just give me a gun I want to shoot myself…. “What I say doesn’t tell me that I am a doctor I am legally bound to report those statements I jokingly respond… You know I am kidding. He proceeds to complain that if his clients were sloppy they should have hired someone else. Terry is a perfectionist, everything has to be just so. Now I know, he is joking about wanting to kill himself but the fact is he is STRESSED OUT.

Wil has a full time job, a family, some real estate, and also does some website work for people on the side. He is the type of guy who can't say NO. He has gained 30lbs over the past two years and he has been on and off sick every other month with a cold, sinus infection or lung congestion for the past 6 months . His body is trying to tell him something.

Sarah is super talented. She speaks all across the United States with hundreds and even thousands of people in her audiences. She helps so many, but is driven to travel a minimum of once a month for 3-4 days at a time. Her body is deteriorating even though she takes lots of supplements. She doesn't believe in rest. Even when she is home she is working and going all the time. She just won't quit.

All three of these individuals are STRESSED OUT.

HERE IS WHAT I SEE IN STRESSED OUT PEOPLE

1) The are always striving to be perfect, do better, good is never good enough

2) They over promise to people please

3) They can't say NO to anything.

The greatest thing my mentor taught me is “just because you can doesn't mean you should”

4) They are STRIVING all the time.

The word Strife or Striving means “lack of agreement”, “state of conflict” or “war”. The Bible is very clear about the downfalls of Strife.

5) They are money driven and no matter how much they get or have saved it's not enough.

Money and having it is not bad, it's when we have our own personal issues with money like the LOVE OF IT. Mathew 6:24 is a good statement to read out of the Bible about the love of money.

But the fact is WE ALL HAVE STRESS, but why is it some people like our three friends end up with heart disease and a variety of health problems and others can handle mountains of stress with out ever getting ILL physically or emotionally.

I believe it has a lot of how they deal with it. Here are some observations I have made of those who LIVE in AMAZING HEALTH with MOUNTAINS OF STRESSFUL things in their lives. I call these individuals the STRESSLESS. There stressors vary from huge Multi-million dollar businesses, to caring for a disabled child or ill parents.

Here are my observations of how they deal with STRESS:

1) Acceptance: “It is ….what it is“ They accept the situation they are in unconditionally.

2) Live in the moment: They don't look back at things they could have done better a year ago or even yesterday. They live in the NOW.

3) Positive, Positive, and Positive: Even if their house just burned down their words, thoughts, and actions stay attached to a positive rope. The words that come out of their mouths are NEVER Negative.

We all have heard the phrase the Power of the tongue. Dr. Lavonne Atnip a Psychologist and Christian Marriage Counselor teaches in depth about this. She says even saying the words, “I am tired” causes the mind to respond and create tiredness in the body. Our poor friend Terry doesn't realize with every word and complaint he utters especially like “I want to die” although his logical mind knows differently he is creating a physiological response in his body that is NOT GOOD.

4) They have a basic mentality that they were put on this earth to serve. It can be a small or big capacity but the mentality and fullness of their life after you meet them all seems the same. A mom who cares for her autistic son or a Pastor who leads thousands to Christ a year.

5) They let go of their burdens and Let God deal with it. Most of these individuals have a deep connection to GOD. They live this Bible Verse,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

None of us can wake up tomorrow and change into people like these Healthy Happy Stressless individuals, but we can wake up tomorrow and work on ONE thing. Maybe we can stop using the phrase, “I am dying” or “this is killing me” the next time we are at the gym or doing something hard.

Pick one thing that you can do tomorrow to start on the road to a STRESSLESS LIFE. Write it in the Comment Section and we will all support each other on the road to health.

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