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Parenting My NingXia Teenage Son: His Vision His Passion His Goals
Parenting My NingXia Teenage Son: His Vision His Passion His Goals
By: Claudia Looi
I like to think he was the cutest when he was little even with snot coming out from his nose. My son was always getting sick when he was little. His life as a toddler evolved around going to the doctor, emergency rooms, bruises and runny noses.
He had gone through an emergency hernia operation, scratched eye emergency observations, high fever emergency visits and many more. But he was a happy child.
When he was five, we realized he couldn’t speak well. The teachers couldn’t understand him and his voice was low. After some testing we found out he had a little speech problem, too little that the school would not pay for therapy sessions. My husband and I bartered with a friend to work with him on his voice and speech. And I gave her son free piano lessons.
It worked out well. Both boys are great teens today. My son speaks clearly and with great intonation and her son is a great musician and I believe both boys who had been great friends since five are going to impact the world.
When he was in fourth grade, his English teacher gave him a 2 out of 6 for writing in the beginning of the school year. That meant he would fail writing, his most important subject in fourth grade. We immediately hired a writing coach and got him to work hard. That hard work turned his writing into a 4 and 5 out of 6.
Today he is an excellent writer. He is a straight A student in his virtual school. You can explore his writing at The Travel Gear Reviews (his website). He is also my graphic designer and Google Adsense guy. He knows a lot about WordPress and builds and designs his own website.
Being a parent is not easy…every stage poses a set of challenges but none can compare with the challenges of raising a teen. Time and time again, I’ve seen teens getting into trouble because of one thing. Can you guess what it is?
Boredom!
Boredom in school, at home or just plain bored. If a child say, “I’m bored!” there must be a reason to that complaint. It could be school is too easy, too difficult or he or she is just trying to find an excuse. Boredom in teens can lead to mediocrity, passiveness, uninspired work or trouble.
Boredom is a real thing. My son was totally bored when he was in public school. His boredom and complaints about being bored stems from three things: his giftedness, fast pace work and excuses. When he was in middle school we had to deal with these constant complaints. So we placed him in virtual high school from home. Did he complain?
Yes, initially. Not now after he saw the benefits. He is only human.
Here are three observations and steps my husband and I took to raise a purpose-driven, focus and sensible teen. Remember we are not perfect and are not there yet. He is still learning and growing.
One: We are his mentors: lead by example
We have no credibility with our teens if we are not willing to do the things expected of them. Many times I have to check my own attitude, words, work ethic and teachable spirit before I could point my finger to my son. Nothing warms my heart more than to hear my son said the other day, “Wow, mom you are so coachable!”
My husband and I don’t know everything. When the time is right we will be looking for a mentor for him to increase his skills in areas that we lack. I have to admit that in order to raise teens that are purpose-driven and focused, we have to be walking in that path too.
Many times I make mistake and have very bad attitude and I fall short regularly. My son has the freedom to tell me so.
Two: Give opportunities to explore and make mistakes
My son likes online shopping and loves to ‘beat the system’ as he calls it. About a year ago he watched and bid for a Wii game for days. He was so excited when he finally out bid everyone else. When the package came, he realized the CD was broken probably due to shipping.
He was crushed. Although he is not a spender, he is one who gets disappointed easily when things don’t turn out as expected. When he was 12 he wanted a game so badly. He begged me for the game for days and I warned him it might not be the same as he anticipated. Sure enough, he was totally disappointed with the purchase.
These are just two examples of the disappointments and ‘mistakes’ he had. If we didn’t allow him to explore he may never have known the outcome. However during our travels here in South America there are many dangerous paths that he wanted to take. We had to stop him from doing so and not let him risk his life. One example would be our trekking trip. Jonathan can jump high and climb fast even in high altitudes. When he gets excited he forgets the dangers.
We have to sit him down and tell him the reasons. He is one who will not take ‘no’ for an answer easily.
Three: Honoring our words and freedom to express himself
Jonathan loves sports, especially soccer. His favorite team is an English team called Chelsea FC. One of the reasons we are going to England next year is because we have promised Jonathan since he was 12 that we would bring him to a live Chelsea game in England if he agrees to cutting the cable (which means no more watching TV).
It is not convenient to bring Jonathan to England and we have been to England two times already but a promise is a promise. It takes money and time to bring a promise to past.
In other words we have to mean what we say and stick to our promises. Jonathan is given freedom to do the things he likes to do. We have also invested money and time so he could pursue his interest and passion.
Raising kids just like building a business requires time and money investment. There is no free ride. If we want the best for our children, we have to invest time, money and energy into them including their health. Jonathan is a NingXia Red teen. For nutritional guides, we used Dr. Mary’s article Teen Boy’s Nutritional Guide. It is crucial that we pay attention to their health and teach them to take care of their body.
We have to invest into ourselves too, to be the best that we are called to be, not perfect but the best.
I’m not a perfect mom, my teens will tell you that instantly. They are who they are today because of their faith in God and their parents. The Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
Jonathan is 15 and a sophomore in Florida Virtual School and is scheduled to graduate one and half years earlier than his peers. He splits his time between schoolwork, working on his website, watching soccer and traveling with his parents and sister. He creates widgets, Facebook and WordPress headers and other website graphic design work. You can find him at www.thetravelgearreviews.com. You can find Claudia Looi at www.travelwritingpro.com.
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.
Are We Thankful For Today?
Are you grateful, I mean truly grateful for this life you have? I believe every life has its sorrows and losses, but sometimes when you are in the middle of your life, having a hard day, a difficult challenge or an overwhelming problem, we can forget all the good we really have. The other day I was reminded of how blessed I really am.
We were 30 minutes late and my husband took a wrong turn. I wanted to jump out of my skin a scream at him, “What are you doing?”. I wanted to scream, “If you didn’t work so much we wouldn’t be late”, I wanted to just scream and become UNGLUED. I recently read about this concept in the book by Lysa Terkeurst by the same name. She talked about this concept of becoming UNGLUED. And wow could I relate.
A day like today with only 4 hours of sleep, a sick baby, my work TO DO list overgrown made it so easy to become UNGLUED when my husband made just a little mistake. But before I blew my lid over a little thing, I practiced what I had learned and put it in perspective. My local friend was home alone with 4 children (including a newborn) for the next 9 months while her husband worked more than 11 hours away. I was blessed to have such a wonderful husband and partner here with me who worked from home nonetheless. I was blessed.
So we finally made it to the restaurant for my grandmother’s 87th birthday party. I kissed this amazing woman and my grandfather and thought how blessed I was to have them still in my life and my children’s lives.
As I sat and listened to the small talk, the topic turned towards the passing of a family friend. This woman lived a horrific and extraordinary life. See, she was a Holocaust survivor who survived 2 concentration camps. She was so emaciated after the war that she spent an entire year in a hospital recovering her body and strength. Her father found her and they went to Canada and then to the United States. Someone at the table said, “Wow we don’t realize how good we have it do we?”. He was right. This woman lived an extraordinary life probably because she appreciated life in a way not many could ever realize.
The next conversation focused around a beautiful 3 and a half year old named Nora, who had been born very, very premature. For the past 3 years her parents have been through hell and back putting their daughter through surgery after surgery, procedure after procedure, and ultimately knowing she will leave this world at a very young age because her lungs and heart will not sustain her.
After our birthday celebration I went home to a sick baby and spent the night holding, rocking and ‘oiling’ my baby up so she could breathe better. I thought of Nora’s parents and how they have to go through the heartache of seeing or hearing their baby suffer everyday.
The next morning I didn’t complain about how tired I was, or about my own head cold, or how much I had to do that day. Instead I thanked GOD. I thanked God… I thanked GOD for this DAY. Because TODAY is all we have.
So my message to myself and to all our readers is that when you feel like coming UNGLUED remember how good you have it, even on your worst day. Appreciate today and honor the gift of today with your attitude and example. LIVE TODAY FULLY.
God bless you my friend. Come on over to my Facebook Page at and let me know something you are grateful for today.
Dr. Mary Starr Carter
the Total Wellness Doc and Mom
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.
Is Your Kid’s Backpack Hurting Them?
Mom my back hurts, Mom I have a headache, Mom my shoulder hurts… these are not statements that are normal for kids to say. In fact most kids shouldn’t be in pain. So anytime there is a problem, it’s important to figure out what is causing it.
The three mentioned above all could be due to your child’s backpack. Please watch this quick informative video by Chiropractor and Kids Spinal Health Specialist, Dr. Beth Dubois:
Backpack Safety Guide Checklist
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.
God Bless The Class Of 1993
So Saturday night I had my 20th year class reunion. I have known about it for several months now and I was fine with going until about 48 hours before the event. Two days prior I started getting this weird anxiety. It was like a quickening of my heart, anxious feeling, and then on the edge of tears all rolled into one. As the hours grew closer to the event I became increasingly more anxious. Finally I decided to take a bath in Epson salts and Idaho Balsam Fir. Idaho Balsam Fir helps to lower your stress hormones naturally. I laid in the tub for about a half hour and when I got out I felt a whole lot better.
Thankfully I found something decent that fit. My friend and I arrived with her husband and the four of us took off for the class of 1993 high school reunion. As we entered the banquet hall my nerves were even a bit more relieved to see familiar faces. Sadly I soon learned that one of our classmates that still lived in town had died and his wake and funeral was today. How awfully sad.
I headed to the bar to order a Corona with lime, the second beer I have drank in two years probably. I have to admit it also helped me to relax and gave me the courage to introduce myself to many people I didn’t recognize or know. Some classmate’s kids were in high school while others like me just had children. I learned that one classmate, Anna loved Melaleuca oil because it helped to stop her 1 1/2 year olds’ ear infections when she put it in the humidifier. Another classmate said her partner had Lyme’s disease and nothing medical helped. Only natural remedies got her health back. I also got to share with some friends who asked about migraines or other ailments and some natural solutions that would help their symptoms.
I guess I was a little self conscious being the heaviest weight I have ever been right now. Yes I know I just had a baby four months ago but I really thought my body would shrink. I didn’t feel so bad as many of my classmates’ bodies didn’t shrink back either. But three women were very inspiring.
My good friend Cindy Brown released over 100lbs with exercising and eliminating the carbs. Carrie Clark released over 50lbs with exercise and changing her food choices, and recently she became a Beachbody coach. But the winner for awesome body even after birthing three babies and having a full time job was my friend Michelle. She began doing yoga in college and continued it but after the birth of her third son, she decided she wanted to start teaching. So she invested 200 hours to learn to teach with Yoga Works. She now teaches three to four classes a week, and WOW does she look good. I don’t mean just skinny she was always thin, but HEALTHY. She radiated.
There were happy parts of the night seeing some of the more zealous hyper boys of high school really find their own creatively in music and life. There were sad parts of the night to listen about divorces or see that too much partying had aged some classmates. Our classmate who had passed suffered a lot of years with back pain and knee pain according to his friend. He said he was on a lot of medication for a lot of years and that did him in. He died suddenly of a heart attack.
Now I really don’t know the whole story but in my field I know that path. An injury leads to pain medication which for most is highly addicting and when you try to get off of it, it makes the pain worse so you spend even more years addicted to it and in this pain cycle loop. You add a poor lifestyle of bad food or alcohol and the body will eventually shut down. It is extremely sad but we see this happen all the time with movie stars like Brittany Murphy or Heath Ledger. So hearing this story of a life gone too soon, I am revitalized to start sharing and screaming – THERE IS ANOTHER WAY – YOU DON’T NEED ALL THOSE DRUGS – IT’S A TRAP BE CAREFUL!
Okay maybe you think I am being a little dramatic and you may be right. I have never had real awful agony pain that lasted weeks or even years. But I do know there are solutions out there that can help, natural safe alternatives to harsh drugs and their side effects.
My 20th year high school reunion was really good. I left feeling happy, relieved, sad, and heart broken at the same time. I want all those people to know what I know, to live like I live and be free of drugs. But I also know that only some of them want to be better, only some of them will seek out alternatives, and some of them will actually do what they learn. But I will be there hoping, sharing and giving solutions for Total Wellness.
God Bless you GRB Class of 1993 – I am here if you need me.
For your Total Wellness,
Dr. Mary Starr Carter
www.thetotalwellnessdoc.com
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.
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